The Importance Of Taking Breaks Between Fertility Treatments

I just wanted to spend a little bit of time today talking about why it is important to take breaks in between IVF treatment. I had 5 fertility treatments in total – 2 IUIs and 3 IVFs, that all happened within the space of two years, and that’s a lot. Probably a little bit too much. I am a self-professed recovering control freak, I just couldn’t accept if somebody told me I needed to take a break, I just wanted a “go go go” and it wasn’t really the best thing to do and the reason why is because I wasn’t giving myself time in between to process my feelings.

So, between the two IUI procedures, there was probably 3 months in between those and then I went headlong into IVF after that. Never thought I would have to go down that road, absolutely devastated, but also kind of in denial and thinking – “Okay if I have to do this, then it’s gonna work, it’s gonna work, it’s gonna work”. I suppose a lot of people would say that’s a positive way to go to an IVF treatment, but to be honest, I wasn’t doing the mindset stuff, I was just “it has to work”. That had too tight hold of me really, that whole outcome and thinking “okay well if I have to do this, fine”. It was that kind of response which is also isn’t very healthy.

? Did the first IVF, it didn’t work. It was absolutely and utterly just heartbroken, completely disappointed, upset, sad, grieving, awful, everything that I’m sure that some of you are going through right now, or have been through in the past.

? Second IVF, done 3 months later. It was literally a case of “when can I do it again?”. Whenever I was given a go ahead, I was honest straight away when my period came I was starting stimulation. And by the time my 2nd IVF failed, I was a mess, I was not dealing with the mindset stuff. I was so good at all the physical stuff, turn-up on appointments, doing the blood, injecting the hormones, having all scans, you know I was “A class” student. And here I was a hypnotherapist, coach antenatal teacher, and yet I was not doing any use of my tools myself to help me along this journey.

? When that 4th treatment failed, I absolutely hit rock bottom, I hit rock bottom with such a thought. It was devastating and I did worry about my state of mind, I isolated myself from my friends, I was creating arguments with people, I was projecting all my negative emotions out of the world hoping somewhere along the line we would have our baby. That we will get to finally have a positive pregnancy test, and yet again I decided “Yup, 3 months, 3 months I’m back doing it in 3 months” and then my husband intervened and he said “No, we’re not doing it again in 3 months, you are now going to take a step back, and you are going to actually use the tools that you know you have, get a little bit of help yourself and then we’ll look at doing it”.

That was really hard, really really hard, and I understand that probably most of you that are considering IVF treatment or maybe you are on your 3rd or 4th, I know some people who were doing 10 treatments. You’ve got to address the mind frame stuff, you’ve got to address the stress, because if you don’t, not only is your whole life affected by it and all of our relationships, your fertility is also affected by it.

And I forgot that… how did I forget this, I studied all of this stuff in great detail when I trained to be a Hypnotherapist and especially when I trained to be a Fertility coach. But when I went through it myself, oh, it was a different story.

So the moral of this story and this video is just to say to you – take breaks in between and makes those breaks really work. Don’t just say “okay, okay I have to bide my time”. Now, I would look at lifestyle, nutrition, supplements. Yes, but aside from any of that, I would just look at how you’re dealing with the emotion and if you are struggling with that and if you are feeling down, anxious, some people feel depressed – I did back then, and if you are lonely, sad, feeling guilty, feeling isolation and fear. Fear was a big thing for me, then you need some help.

Do not go on to another treatment until you get some help. It is very important. I found meditation amazing, I also have some coaching myself, mindset coaching and I just started looking at my life again and saying “What is my life without this struggle, what is my life actually all about”. I have forgotten…I reconnected with my friends, who I had distance my self from because it was just too painful to hear them talking about their children and it was just too painful to be the friend who has “hard-boiled eggs” that was what I think about myself.

Having an image like that of yourself, how could that be helpful in any way? So, my advice is take your breaks in between treatment but don’t just go through the motions and just say “Okay, 3 months, 3 months, 4 months, 4 months will do”, take the time in between to nurture yourself to get some emotional help, to download some lovely meditation apps on your phone and spend some time every evening before you go to bed in meditation. Spend some time visualising your body, visualising your womb being receptive to wonderful embryos, visualise the baby that you want to have and imagine yourself going through a healthy pregnancy. All of these things are putting your mind and body in the right frame for conception.

So, take some time, nurture yourself and take the breaks in between treatment. It will really make the difference. I was successful on my 3rd IVF, my 5th treatment, and I don’t think it was just to do with the protocol of the drugs I was on, I don’t think it was to do with luck or anything else. I honestly, honestly believe that when I went on to my final IVF treatment my brain was in a different place, my head was in a different place, and If I could tell you what it was, if I could just describe it in a few words, instead of thinking why is this happening to me which was what I used to say a lot – “Why did this have to happen to me, Why can’t I have my baby, Why me, Why me”.

I instead had fighting spirit, i came back with fighting spirit and I said to myself “I don’t care what it takes, I’m gonna keep coming back until my eggs ran out and then I’ll look at other options. I am going to do this, and I’m going to find my baby some way or another. And I think that fighting spirit was key in actually me becoming pregnant. So, please look at your mind, it is so important, don’t neglect your mind and just look after your body. Do look after yourself, holistically, the mind-body connection is huge in fertility. I just wanted to share that with you today.

If you have any questions or if you want to learn more about how I can work with you, check out my website. 

Put your mind and body in the right frame for conception. Take some time, nurture yourself and take the breaks in between treatment.

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