Playing The Lead Part In Your Fertility Story

I read a quote recently that stopped me in my tracks, and that quote was “When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen”. Why did it stop me in my tracks? Well to me this quote is meaningful in several different ways. So fundamentally it means that you have to be in control of your own life, that you chart your own course and don’t stop until you reach your destination. But what it got me thinking about was how many times when we are striving to create or to grow our families do we allow our next chapter to be written by somebody else. Or how many times do we compare our stage two to someone else’s stage eight without knowing the full story or without really knowing how well we compare with that?

Now I know that I handed my pen over time and time again to other people and I truly believe that if I hadn’t taken my pen back as the quote goes, I don’t think I’d be a mother now. So let’s look at that quote again, “When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen”. I really believe this means that you are the captain of your own ship and sometimes you have to steer that ship yourself through those stormy seas until you complete your journey and you’re in a safe harbor. And it’s so important that you don’t let someone else lead you off course, that you stay firmly at the helm until your journey is a success.

Remember success has many different faces and it will mean different things to different people. Now the other key meaning that I take from this quote is literally don’t let anyone else write your story. You know as a unique individual who you are and what you actually contribute to your world. You know what’s in your heart and there’s probably a chance that you started off on this journey towards your baby being quite determined, being quite in your power and perhaps that got lost along the way because it does happen.

I want to just urge you today to always make sure that your truth is spoken, that your truth comes out and that you don’t allow other individuals to label you as something. So much that that label you put on yourself or that then gets put on you becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and you park that and say well that’s just my story.

I have lost count of the amount of times that the women that I support have defied medical odds or when you’ve done something or what the person that took the pen from you in the first place said that you were only capable of doing or achieving. When I have seen people bust through that, it’s amazing.

When you actually despite those numbers that you’re being given, the facts about your age and so on and so forth or medical diagnoses, when I see people bust through those, it just makes me full of joy and full of gratitude that people decided to write their own story. Now it is a sad fact of life that there will be occasions when people put their own spin on events and say sweeping statements to you about your fertility, about your pregnancy, about your birth experience. I see it because my work takes me through all of those phases.

Words have power. Words have so much power, especially the words we say to ourselves and the words that other people say to us can be impactful. They can create hurt, they can create fear and a negative impact. But it doesn’t… other people’s words don’t have to represent your reality. Please remember that. And that is why I’m asking you today, I’m urging you today to please speak up for yourself because if you don’t, you can’t expect anyone else to. You can be choosy, you can decide to be choosy about what stories you take on as your own and you can simply decide to write your next chapter, to be the author of your next chapter.

Now one of my most pivotal moments in my own fertility story was when I decided wholeheartedly to reject what I was being told about my body and its capabilities, about its weaknesses and limited capability and instead embrace that fire inside of myself, that instinct that told me that I was going to be a mother. And I just decided that my next chapter was being written by nobody except me. So my message today is please speak up, stand up for you. Don’t let them take the pen away from you.

Start your next chapter in the leading role and make sure that you’re writing each word with passion as if it’s already happened. Always make sure that you don’t hand your pen to someone else ever.

Thank you for reading our blog. You can also check our Mind Body Tools For Fertility free resources to get more support and guidance. 

Affirmations have been proven time and time again to be a powerful tool for change.

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